Nightmares
by thewritingqueen2016
Summary: Oliver keeps having a recurring nightmare. Will he finally take this as a sign to make a major change in his life?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I woke up in a rough panic. Sweat trickled down my neck and face. My thin white t-shirt was drenched, as was my hair. I could feel the heat radiate off of my body, which meant my face had to of been red from the flush that crept over my cheeks. It's been the same thing for the past few month. Always the same dream-well more like a nightmare. After Slade I was sure they would of stopped, but they seem to only become worse.

It doesn't always start the same but it always ends the same. It ends with her body lying next to my feet. her blood seeping through her clothes and pooling around her own body. Whether it be from a sword, a bullet, a knife, or even an arrow, it's always the EXACT same. It's prodding from her chest, then coming out from her back. A through and through never missing her heart. By the time I reach her there's nothing I can do. I stand there helpless not being able to help, not being able to take the pain away. I watch her die, her voice calling out for help. Calling my name over and over, begging for not just anyone but for MY help. For me to be her hero and save her. No matter how hard I try, I am not able to. I can't save her, I can't keep her to stay. To stay here with Diggle, Roy, Layla, Sara...and me. I can't keep her from leaving us, from leaving me.

As she saves her last breath, she whispers out loud but barely enough to where I can hear. Her voice is soft and quite. "Since I am dying. I just want to say, you can't stop being the Arrow, Oliver. You can't give up on everyone in this city. They need you more than you know, especially after tonight. You can't stop fighting. Diggle, Roy, Sara, Thea, Captain Lance, and Laurel all need you. You're not allowed to give up on them and you're not allowed to give up on yourself." I shake my head, smiling at her despite the cold situation occurring. It was so like her to be the mother hen even when she is lying her dying in front of me.

"Oliver there is something I need to tell you." I crouch down near her, so I was able to hear. "You have to let someone in okay. You need to let someone in. I know you think that it's better to keep everyone away from you. Everyone is safer when they are not apart of your life. The only thing I have to say is that's bull shit and you know it. Oliver you have to let someone love you and you need to find someone to love yourself. I know you were going to do this all alone." She gestures to everything around us, waving her hands. "But you know deep down that you can't. You need help, you can't do this by yourself. That's why you have Diggle and Roy. They are here to help you. They are not giving up on you."

I start to cry. I know Diggle and Roy are here, but she's the only one I care about helping me on my mission, my crusade. She's the only one I need with me. She is my light, my heart. She lets me overcome the darkness in me, in my soul. She is the only one who sees me as me, not someone broken and beaten, not a murderer but someone who saves people, who saves lives.

"That's why you need to be with Laurel." Wait, what?! Laurel? "She loves you Oliver and you love her. I can tell from the way she looks at you,and the way you look at her. She's the one for you Oliver. You need her light to fight your darkness. Stop trying to protect her, because you can't go through life regretting that you never pushed yourself to be with her." What the hell is she talking about.

I don't look at Laurel like she's my everything. I sure as hell am not in love with her. Why would she think that. I haven't been in love with her since the island. Since I got back. I stopped loving her a long time ago. I know Laurel has feelings for me, but I don't reciprocate those feelings. The only woman I love is the same one who is dying in front of me. The same woman that I can't save. I have loved her for a long time. I wouldn't say from the moment I saw her. Though she was the first person who could see me as a person. The first person I was able to trust. The moment I fell in love with her was when she stopped me from killing Kurt Williams, by locking me in the Foundry. She was so proud of herself with that accomplishment, and when I yelled at her she surprised me. She stood up against me and yelled back. That's when I knew she was it for me.

"Oliver you have to promise me that you are going to fight for her. Will you?" Will I? Hell no, I won't.

"No I won't and before you start screaming at me, will you listen to me." She shook her head. Her hand shot up immediately, grasping the back of her hair. I could see how much pain she was in. "I don't want to be with Laurel." She opened her mouth to speak. "No hear me out. I don't want to be with her, because I don't love her. I haven't loved her in a long time."

"What do you mean...Slade took her because he wanted to kill the woman you love, which is Laurel. I mean who else would it be, unless it was me. But it couldn't be me, because well clearly you don't love me. I am just the IT girl. Besides why would a sexy billionaire be interested in a nerdy IT girl." I love it when she babbles.

"Is that really what you think? That you are just some IT girl. That I couldn't possibly be interested in you. Well I call that bull shit." I recalled what she said earlier, which earned me one of her dazzling smiles. "Because what you just said was wrong. You're not just some IT girl, you're more than that. You are my partner, my friend. Yes I will always love Laurel in some way, but I am not in love with her, because I am in love with you! You're it for me. You are my light and I don't want anyone else. I love you Felicity. Don't you know that. I have always loved you, I will always love you."

Minutes passed and I started to think maybe I read into her own feelings wrong. I was sure she felt the same way about me. Diggle even told me that she loved me, of course I didn't believe him and maybe now I had good reason to. "Umm Felicity...say something. This is starting to get awkward."

"Oliver I love you too. I have for a long time. I just never realized you felt the same way about me. I didn't think it was possible for you to." I gazed into her eyes and found love, and adoration but I also sensed pain and lots of it.

"Felicity I want to kiss you so bad right now, but we need to get you to a hospital." I turned to call out to Dig. A light pressure was placed on my arm and then I felt a small tug. I whipped around to find Felicity trying to stand with tears rolling down her cheeks. Her breathe labored and she started to pant. Exhaustion flooded her body and pain reflected on her face, and yet she wore a smile.

"Oliver it's useless. We both know I am not going to make it to a hospital. I am already dying and I am not going to make it much longer. I mean my life is going to end, because well I'm dying. Not that I want to die...because I really don't..."

I was quick to cut her off. "No Felicity you are not going to die. I will not allow that to happen. Do you understand." I had just spoken those same words mere hours ago in the mansion when we were trying to fool Slade. Truth is there was no fooling to do. "We need to get you to a hospital, but I have my bike, which is why I am calling Diggle." I looked down for not even a second and all hell broke loose.

"Felicity!" She had fallen to the ground and was loosing consciousness. No. I am not loosing her, I can't loose anyone else. I just can't, especially not Felicity. Not the woman I love. I ran to her quickly and dropped on my knees. "No baby! Felicity you have to stay with me. Do you hear? You can't leave me I need you. I can't live if you're not living. I won't be able to go on. Felicity please...please Felicity. Open your eyes, damn it Felicity open them. I need to see your beautiful eyes, hear your soothing voice, and feel your touch.

"I love you Oliver." That was the last ting I would ever hear Felicity say. I reached my hand across to see if I could find a pulse, but it was pointless. Her heart stopped beating and my throat constricted. She was gone. I picked her up and carried her down the street, towards the foundry. Crying the whole way, my vision became blurry. I reached the metal, security ridden door of the foundry and nearly lost it. My knees buckled and I collapsed with Felicity's body in my arms.

There I cried until Diggle and Roy found me. Diggle reached to grab Felicity's body and Roy shouted angrily towards the universe. "It's too late Dig. She's gone and there was nothing I could of done to stop it. I have failed this city, but most importantly I failed her. We promised her and each other we were going to protect her. I told you we would, I would protect her. Now I have failed her. I have failed the woman I love."

After countless nights of dreaming the same disaster every time I knew I had to do something about it. I have to tell Felicity how I feel. I can't keep denying it. I'm in love with her. If anything the nightmares have taught me that, what happened in my subconscious can happen in reality. I don't want to miss or regret not being with her. I love her, and I need her. I am just going to have to get the courage to explain it to her. I know she would be better off and safer without me, but she is also safe with me. I may not be able to protect her from everything but I am sure as hell am going to try.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day I headed out of my pent house ready to tell Felicity how I felt about her. I told Diggle and Felicity to meet me at the foundry around 5:30. For a couple of weeks there has been another vigilante roaming the streets at night. The cops are calling him the Black Knight. Ironic since he is nowhere close to fitting the description of being a knight, especially not a knight and shining armor. Instead of rescuing girls he pries on them, kidnapping them and tortures them. After he is done toying and playing his game he leaves them in the street or down an alley waiting to be noticed and called in to the cops. Felicity has stressed herself over this case and I can see the way it's beginning to affect her. After Slade and everything that happened I was surprised she didn't quit the team and try to break free from all this crazy nonsense.

 _Ring Ring Ring_

I looked down at the small device in my hand to see Felicity's name appear on the tiny not so tiny screen. I couldn't help the genuine smile that appeared on my lips. Only Felicity could truly make me feel as if I didn't have to pretend. I answered quickly, "Hello this is Queen." Of course, she knew that though.

"Oliver, I know it's you, I am the one who called remember. Of course, you remember you just picked up the phone. The only reason you wouldn't remember is if you were suffering from Amnesia. Oh god! You don't have amnesia, right? Oliver please don't tell..." I cut her off with a chuckle into the phone. Damn this girl and her obsessive babbling, another reason why I keep falling for her.

"No Felicity I do not have Amnesia. I'm okay there is nothing to worry about."

"Okay but then why did you answer the way you did? You usually just answer with hey or what's up. Are you sure you are fine? Well of course you are fine. Who would think you weren't. Any girl would be lucky to get with you, I would even consider it. Oh god, please tell me I didn't just say that out loud. You and Diggle really need to learn to stop me from babbling. I seem to only make a fool out of myself when I do." I imagined the blush that swept over her neck and crept towards her cheeks.

"Why would we do that Felicity? Your babbling is what makes you, you. Anyway, was there something that you needed to ask or tell me?" The last part was rushed a bit. I blamed in on my nerves.

"Oh, yeah or else I wouldn't be calling you." Ouch. It hurt a little when she said that. Would she never just call to say hi. I call her all the time just to hear her voice, but of course I make up an excuse to go along with it.

"Are we still meeting at the foundry later?" Does she have plans? A date? Why didn't I know she was dating anyone? Did she not think that I wouldn't like to know? Slow down Queen she may not have a date, she may not even be dating. Calm down. I think Felicity would tell us if she was dating someone.

"Yes...Why is everything okay?"

"Of course, everything is fine. I was just wondering." After a year of working close together, Felicity knows when I am lying, which means I know when she is lying too.

"Felicity are you sure you are okay? And don't say..."

I was cut off immediately by her. "Yes of course. Everything is fine."

I sighed heavily. It's like she knew what I was about to say, she does it every time. "And don't say everything is okay. Felicity what are you not telling me. Do you remember what I told you? If you ever need to talk about your day or if something is wrong, you can tell me. That offer still stands." I should talk to her about what happened with Slade. She has never brought it back up and she never talked about what Slade did to her. She hasn't told me anything about it now that I think more about what happened after we put Slade back on the Island.

"Yes of course. I know Oliver, I remember. I happen to have a pretty good memory. I promise nothing is wrong. I was just checking to see if we were still meeting. I have to go so I'll see you later."

"Of course. Bye Felicity." I kept the line on, waiting to hear the soft tone I have come accustomed to hearing, but it never came. I was replied with the sharp click notifying me that the call ended. Telling me what I needed to know. One. Felicity is not okay. She's hiding something and specifically from me. What does she not want me knowing. Two. I am going to find out what it is and fix it.

Five thirty finally came around signaling that it was time for me to leave from Queen Consolidated and make my way to the Foundry. For the rest of the day I couldn't get the conversation, or therefore lack of conversation Felicity and I had earlier today, out of my head. I know she pleaded with me not to be concerned, the only problem is there is never a time when I am not concerned for her. I constantly find myself wondering if I am going to be able to keep the promise I made to Diggle last year about keeping her safe and out of harm's way. Did her signing up with our team, put her life in more danger than ever? Of course, it did. If anyone finds out that Felicity is connected to the Arrow and the Arrow is me, Oliver Queen, I am screwed.

I arrived a short twenty minutes later. I was late. I rushed to the big secured door and punched in the code to swiftly enter the Arrow Cave. Felicity came up with the name. At first I loathed it, insisting there was no way in hell we were calling it that. The puppy dog face she gave me broke my hard shell and the Foundry has been referred to as the Arrow Cave ever since. Making it down the stairs I scanned the room in hopes to see the wonderful people I call my teammates. Diggle and Roy were sparing on the mats and Felicity was slumped over on her desk. I knew there was something wrong.

I paced over to Diggle mouthing, "Is she okay?" He replied with a curt nod and left it at that. Okay, so is no one going to tell me what's going on.

My ears picked up a quiet rustling sound and I peered over my shoulder to see Felicity stirring awake. There were little red marks on her face, indicating she must have had a decent sleep, at least one of us is sleeping. I threw her a small smile and she returned the gesture, her breath taking blue eyes looking into my own, and a sharp intake of breath could be heard. Was it from her or me? There was no way of telling. It reverted my thoughts back into reality.

I was working on trying to figure out exactly how I was going to win back over my company from my board of directors. They told me I had to come back and prepared to run a business like Q.Q. Which only meant I had to clean up my act and my reputation of billionaire playboy Ollie.

I shuddered. I never liked that name and never understood why Laurel and Tommy always was fixed on using that as my nickname. They even got Thea to start calling me by the ridiculous moniker. Since I was asked to kindly step down from being the CEO of Queen Cons. I had to start riding my bike everywhere I went instead of riding in the big fancy limo I was used to. Diggle was out of a job, Felicity was out of a job and I was out of a job. Feeling terrible was not close to how having my company being taken away lead to Felicity having to find a new job until we were able to go back to our regular work schedule. She told me it was okay, and she really liked working with her hands again at the small company's IT department. I reminded myself that the first thing on my agenda once I became CEO again, was to make Felicity the director of the Technology and Science department. She at least deserved that after everything.

Ah Felicity. Just the mere thought of her made me smile and my day much better. I can't believe I waited this long to ask her to go on a date let alone admit to myself that I've been in love with her for years.


End file.
